Dejavu!
Girl had done this walk before.
She had walked this walk before with this Boy.
She had walked this walk before with this Boy, over this bridge.
First time it happened they were holding hands
Once upon a time, this would have felt good.
The breeze this time wasn't cool. It was musty, uncomfortable. There was no other place she'd rather be at, but it didn't feel good. It felt like the breeze brought back the thoughts she believed we're buried.
The last thing she had said was "So what happens to me now?"
He was far away. It was so much easier for him when he didn't see her face. Her beautiful eyes - red and twice their normal size. 'The Vein' popping out on her forehead. 3-second-interval sobs. The barely audible 'but I love him' - s.
Then one day, after so long, he came to town, and called her phone.
'I would like to see you'
'Who's this?'
'Boy'
'Oh! O-K.... Why? Where are you?'
'7 miles away from you. Watching the stars at the spot where we sat and kissed. Remember?'
'What are you doing?'
'Are you busy?'
'Yea.. No. What do you want?'
'Meet me at that place with the fountain'
'You're kidding right?'
'30 minutes'. He hung up.
Boy always did this. Girl found herself on the bus. She didn't change clothes. She had her Johnny Depp PJs on. She simply put on a jacket and picked up her purse. The bus ride couldn't be any longer. She wasn't looking forward to seeing him again. Not now, not ever. She never felt good enough for him. Dressing up wouldn't have made a difference.
There he was, glistening under the moonlight. Straight-faced, not even a smirk. He held out his right hand. She ran. She ran like she had been waiting for it for so long. She grabbed it. She wasn't gonna let go. And then suddenly she did.
'I'm not going to let myself fall flat on my face again. All you do is walk all over me and then move on when you're done. Not gonna happen.'
'Hold me'
'No.'
He started walking towards her favorite part of the town. Where they met. Just across the bridge. He had tried to help her overcome her acrophobia. She loved the bridge. She loved the landing right across from it. They walked, silently. He tried to reach for her hand. She held back. Then the tears came.
'Why are you doing this to me? I'm not just a robot with an ON/OFF button. I have feelings you know.
'I sorry. I'm so sorry darling. Please. Please let me'
Boy fit his arms around her like no one else could. He kissed her on her forehead. She cried even more.
'Why did you keep me waiting so long, Boy?'
'I love you too'.
7.9.07
At first sight
I open my eyes
And take in the scenery...
I see children playing in the sand
Enjoying the water and the cool breeze
"Look further", my mind tell me.
In the distance
The wiseman spells the words
That he alone can see
Formed by the rocks, the clouds and the waves
The crowd is marvelled
"Still further", I hear again
Hair; jet black and curly as at birth
Skin; flawless sunkissed bronze
Eyes; deep, almost unending, yet soft and promising
Teeth; white as pearl, shiny as ivory
Arms; oh so finely cut, complete definition of strength
Legs; long and firmly planted
Our eyes meet
Nothing changes
The waves rumble.
Like silk viels carried by the wind,
Our hearts float in the air, and intertwine.
Like the strings of cord,
Our fingers interlock... perfectly
Like that was how it was meant to be.
And take in the scenery...
I see children playing in the sand
Enjoying the water and the cool breeze
"Look further", my mind tell me.
In the distance
The wiseman spells the words
That he alone can see
Formed by the rocks, the clouds and the waves
The crowd is marvelled
"Still further", I hear again
Hair; jet black and curly as at birth
Skin; flawless sunkissed bronze
Eyes; deep, almost unending, yet soft and promising
Teeth; white as pearl, shiny as ivory
Arms; oh so finely cut, complete definition of strength
Legs; long and firmly planted
Our eyes meet
Nothing changes
The waves rumble.
Like silk viels carried by the wind,
Our hearts float in the air, and intertwine.
Like the strings of cord,
Our fingers interlock... perfectly
Like that was how it was meant to be.
The real deal...
Gifts; money
Phone calls; time
Her thoughts; his thoughts
He loves me; She loves me not
These all matter
But sometimes overtake the real thing
We confuse ourselves
Concerning what to expect
And how good the kisses are
And what we have to gain
Then we grow out of the norm
That society presents
And grow into our own selves
And understand what our hearts really need
We rule out the sex
And the spending
And the sweet talk
And the 12 daily calls
And the satisfaction of other people who care about us
Even the 'requirement' to please our partners
And the somewhat necessary "I love you" - s
All we're left with
Is the companionship
The illusions of harmony
That we only can perceive
And it's still worth precious diamonds
Because we make it so
Phone calls; time
Her thoughts; his thoughts
He loves me; She loves me not
These all matter
But sometimes overtake the real thing
We confuse ourselves
Concerning what to expect
And how good the kisses are
And what we have to gain
Then we grow out of the norm
That society presents
And grow into our own selves
And understand what our hearts really need
We rule out the sex
And the spending
And the sweet talk
And the 12 daily calls
And the satisfaction of other people who care about us
Even the 'requirement' to please our partners
And the somewhat necessary "I love you" - s
All we're left with
Is the companionship
The illusions of harmony
That we only can perceive
And it's still worth precious diamonds
Because we make it so
Dialogue
"Let's talk about harmony"
"Let's..."
"Is it the beauty that everyone else can see
Or the perfection that we seemingly present
Or the way we are in-sync with what the society presents
Or the stress marks that we never have?"
"No..."
"Is it the similarities that are so blatant
Or the smile that hides the fear we harbor
Or the lavish lives we live
Or the wealth that keeps us happy?"
"No..."
"Is it the number of years we've been together
Or the number of children we have
Or the price tag on our mansion
Or how much we spend on each other?"
"No..."
"Then tell me..."
"I will; Dance with me:
It's the way I fit myself around you
So that this dance works
Even though I am much taller than you are.
It's the way the skins on our faces blend when we kiss
Though you're fairskinned and I'm not.
It's the way my hand fits in the small of your back
Though there's no missing part there.
It's the way you wrap your legs around me with ease
Though..."
"I think I got it..."
"It's about fitting together perfectly
Because you want to
Besides all the obstacles.
It's about making a DECISION to love"
"Let's..."
"Is it the beauty that everyone else can see
Or the perfection that we seemingly present
Or the way we are in-sync with what the society presents
Or the stress marks that we never have?"
"No..."
"Is it the similarities that are so blatant
Or the smile that hides the fear we harbor
Or the lavish lives we live
Or the wealth that keeps us happy?"
"No..."
"Is it the number of years we've been together
Or the number of children we have
Or the price tag on our mansion
Or how much we spend on each other?"
"No..."
"Then tell me..."
"I will; Dance with me:
It's the way I fit myself around you
So that this dance works
Even though I am much taller than you are.
It's the way the skins on our faces blend when we kiss
Though you're fairskinned and I'm not.
It's the way my hand fits in the small of your back
Though there's no missing part there.
It's the way you wrap your legs around me with ease
Though..."
"I think I got it..."
"It's about fitting together perfectly
Because you want to
Besides all the obstacles.
It's about making a DECISION to love"
not about love
i have decided to love
not because i feel it
but because i must
cos this love is not about a feeling
it's about a decision
i let hate and anger and sorrow
cover up the good side of me
because i thought it could never be worse
that it already was
but HE had different plans
so i opened up myself to Him
to receive His sovereign ability
and merge myself with His will
now i have too much love
for the one who took my heart so long ago
and it's not about to go away
because it's not about a feeling that i can stop having
but because of a decision i have made.
not because i feel it
but because i must
cos this love is not about a feeling
it's about a decision
i let hate and anger and sorrow
cover up the good side of me
because i thought it could never be worse
that it already was
but HE had different plans
so i opened up myself to Him
to receive His sovereign ability
and merge myself with His will
now i have too much love
for the one who took my heart so long ago
and it's not about to go away
because it's not about a feeling that i can stop having
but because of a decision i have made.
He Said She Said: Love In the Motherland
The Scene:
Breezy evening. Moonlit sky. 1 billion stars in sight. One random passerby once in a while. Some classes still going on; some professors voices audible, some drowned out by Cricket Choir....
HE:
Tall, Caramel-skinned, absolutely handsome. Every girl's dream. Free-spirited, smart, witty, captivating. You name it, HE's got it.
SHE:
Very proud of her abs though she's not a size 10 or less. Gorgeous creation. Short; but prefers to be called portable. Loves a good laugh. Very intelligent, almost nerdy.
He: Walk with me?
She: Why?
He: Stop acting like you don't want to.
They walk side by side.
She looks up at his face. He's there, looking back, smiling....
She stops herself from blushing and finds a seat in the Park.
He takes a sit next to her, but still gives her her space.
She's thrilled.
She looks up at the sky and closes her eyes, as if muttering a little prayer.
He: Why are your eyes closed?
She turns to him with her eyes still closed and shakes her head.
He: Mmmm...
She's completely shocked when he leans in and kisses her Oh so softly. Pure but passionate. Shock turns to glee.
She: What was that for?
He: Wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Breezy evening. Moonlit sky. 1 billion stars in sight. One random passerby once in a while. Some classes still going on; some professors voices audible, some drowned out by Cricket Choir....
HE:
Tall, Caramel-skinned, absolutely handsome. Every girl's dream. Free-spirited, smart, witty, captivating. You name it, HE's got it.
SHE:
Very proud of her abs though she's not a size 10 or less. Gorgeous creation. Short; but prefers to be called portable. Loves a good laugh. Very intelligent, almost nerdy.
He: Walk with me?
She: Why?
He: Stop acting like you don't want to.
They walk side by side.
She looks up at his face. He's there, looking back, smiling....
She stops herself from blushing and finds a seat in the Park.
He takes a sit next to her, but still gives her her space.
She's thrilled.
She looks up at the sky and closes her eyes, as if muttering a little prayer.
He: Why are your eyes closed?
She turns to him with her eyes still closed and shakes her head.
He: Mmmm...
She's completely shocked when he leans in and kisses her Oh so softly. Pure but passionate. Shock turns to glee.
She: What was that for?
He: Wouldn't have missed it for the world.
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